Girls and Autism:
Why They’re Often Misdiagnosed
When most people picture autism, the image that comes to mind is still often that of a young boy who struggles to communicate, avoids eye contact, and has very obvious repetitive behaviours. For decades, this was the dominant stereotype in both medical research and public understanding. But autism does not look the same in every child, and for many girls, the signs can be much harder to spot.
Increasingly, parents, teachers, and clinicians are recognising that autism in girls often goes unnoticed or is misdiagnosed. Girls may be labelled as shy, anxious, or simply “sensitive” rather than autistic. Others may receive a different diagnosis altogether, such as ADHD, anxiety, or even eating disorders, before autism is considered.
This delay can have serious consequences. Without a correct diagnosis, girls may miss out on vital support at school, struggle with friendships, and develop secondary mental health difficulties. Understanding why autism presents differently in girls is essential for parents who may be worried about their daughters.
Autism has historically been studied and diagnosed primarily in boys. Early research in the mid-20th century largely involved male participants, meaning the diagnostic criteria were shaped around how boys displayed traits. This created a kind of “male profile” of autism, which became the standard for assessment.
As a result, when girls showed autistic behaviours in different, less obvious ways, they often did not match the expected picture. Doctors and teachers might have thought, “She can make eye contact, she has friends, she seems fine,” and dismissed concerns. Even today, many parents report struggling to convince professionals to take their worries seriously because their daughter does not fit the traditional view of autism.
One of the main reasons girls are often missed is that their autism can look different from boys’. Instead of standing out, they may be better at blending in, at least on the surface.
Girls are often more socially motivated and may study how their peers behave, learning to copy gestures, tone of voice, or even interests. This is sometimes called “masking” or “camouflaging”. While it allows them to appear socially capable, it comes at a heavy emotional cost. Behind closed doors, many girls feel exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed from keeping up the act all day.
Interests are another area where differences can occur. While boys are often stereotyped as having narrow interests in things like trains, numbers, or computers, girls may focus intensely on topics that seem more “socially acceptable”, such as animals, books, or celebrities. Because these interests align more with what is considered “normal” for girls, they are less likely to raise concerns.
Furthermore, teachers and adults may overlook autistic traits in girls because they can appear quiet and well-behaved. A boy who disrupts the classroom with meltdowns or refusal to follow instructions may draw attention quickly, but a girl who sits silently, struggling internally, may slip under the radar.
When autism is missed or mistaken for something else, girls are left without the right support. Many develop secondary problems such as anxiety, depression, or obsessive behaviours as they try to cope without understanding why they feel different.
Some girls receive diagnoses such as ADHD, borderline personality disorder, or eating disorders, which only partly explain their struggles. While these conditions may also be present, autism can remain the underlying issue. Without recognising autism, support strategies may not fully address their needs.
In education, a missed diagnosis means teachers may misinterpret a girl’s difficulties as laziness, lack of effort, or even behavioural problems. Socially, girls may feel isolated, confused by friendship dynamics, and unable to express why things feel so hard. Over time, this can erode self-esteem and lead to burnout.
Thankfully, awareness of autism in girls has grown significantly in the last decade. Researchers have highlighted the problem of diagnostic bias, and charities such as the National Autistic Society have campaigned for better recognition of how autism can present in girls and women.
Clinicians are increasingly trained to look beyond the “male model” and consider subtler signs, such as masking, internalised anxiety, or socially acceptable but intense interests. Assessment tools are also being updated to account for these differences, although change can still be slow.
Parents themselves have played a major role in driving this shift. More mothers are recognising their own autism after their daughters are assessed, helping to highlight how autism can look across generations of women.
If you are a parent wondering whether your daughter may be autistic, it helps to pay close attention to what happens not just in public, but also at home. Girls who mask at school often release all their stress in the safety of their home environment. Meltdowns or shutdowns after school, extreme tiredness, or needing long periods of alone time can be significant signs.
Social difficulties may be subtle. A girl might appear to have friends, but often plays a passive role, letting others lead while she struggles silently. She may feel intense anxiety about friendships and worry constantly about being left out.
Sensory sensitivities are another common feature, though they may not always be obvious. Discomfort with clothing textures, strong smells, or loud noises might be dismissed as fussiness, when in fact they are genuine sensory differences.
It is also worth noticing if your daughter develops unusually strong interests or routines. Even if these interests seem typical, the intensity and the comfort they provide can point to autism.
An accurate autism diagnosis can make an enormous difference to a girl’s wellbeing. It provides a framework for understanding her needs and opens the door to support both at school and at home.
Teachers can make adjustments such as offering quiet spaces, using visual supports, or being mindful of sensory triggers. Social support can be provided, not by forcing a girl into overwhelming group settings, but by helping her build friendships at her own pace and in smaller, more manageable ways.
Early diagnosis also helps protect mental health. When girls understand that their differences are part of being autistic, rather than believing they are simply “not good enough”, it can be a huge relief. Parents, too, benefit from having a clearer understanding, which allows them to advocate for the right help.
Unfortunately, many families face long waits for an NHS autism assessment. It is not uncommon for parents to wait over a year, sometimes much longer, before their child is seen by specialists. During this time, girls who are already struggling may face worsening difficulties without appropriate support.
This is one reason why more parents are choosing private autism assessments. Private assessments often provide quicker answers, detailed feedback, and more flexible appointments. They can be particularly helpful for girls, where subtle signs require careful exploration and parents need professionals who are experienced in recognising the female presentation of autism.
The way autism is diagnosed has changed dramatically since the 1980s, but the journey is far from complete. Greater awareness of autism in girls is helping to close the gap, but too many still slip through unnoticed.
For parents, trusting your instincts is crucial. If you feel your daughter is struggling in ways that aren’t being recognised, it is worth seeking further advice and exploring both NHS and private options for assessment.
The ultimate goal is not to label girls unnecessarily, but to ensure they receive the understanding and support they need. Autism is not something to “fix”, but a different way of experiencing the world. With the right recognition, autistic girls can thrive, celebrating their unique strengths while being supported in the areas they find challenging.
Autism in girls is often overlooked, not because it is rare, but because it can look different from what professionals have historically been trained to see. Masking, quieter behaviours, and socially acceptable interests mean many girls are misdiagnosed or missed altogether.
As awareness grows, more girls are finally receiving the correct diagnosis and the support they need. For parents, the key is to remain observant, trust your instincts, and push for answers if you feel something is being missed.
Every child deserves to be understood. Recognising autism in girls is a vital step towards ensuring they no longer feel invisible, but instead are valued for who they truly are.
Written by Ben Friedman, Founder of Atypically.
Ben has years of first hand experience as a father of an autistic son and a SEND advocate. All content is thoroughly researched to help parents to be as informed as possible when navigating private assessments and meaningful interventions for their neurodiverse children. Ben also holds a CPD Accredited Certification in the Treatment and Management of Additional Needs Children with Neurodevelopmental Disorders.
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